Worst. Talented. Team. Ever.

Following Cards 30, Cowboys 24: “These are the moments when I’m happy I care a lot more about college football,” says a Friend of Unfair Park and fellow University of Texas grad, who points to the Longhorns’ No. 1 ranking in the Associated Press and USA Today coaches’ polls. And…

Scenes from the Shootout

Hillary Whitehead While we wait for all the Longhorns and Sooners fans to clear out of town, it’s worth revisiting the scene from outside the Cotton Bowl this morning, where our photographer Hillary Whitehead trained her lens on some of the best Longhorn hairdos and Sooner cheerleader routines before the…

Texas Fight 45, Boomer Sooner 35

Just watched “OU Sucks!” beat “Texas Sucks!” by 10 at this jumpin’ joint on Lemmon. Don’t know who, for sure, is the better quarterback — Sam Bradford or Colt McCoy. But I do know a couple things: 1. McCoy’s roomate — Jordan Shipley — was the best player on the…

Texas-OU: The Bark Before the Bite

Flickr photo: vfrjeremy Till tomorrow morning, then: 7 a.m., Gate 5 for Texas Exes. This homemade retrospective also makes a nice pregame warm-up. But don’t look now, Longhorn fans: OU 38, UT 28? Aw, say it ain’t so, Joe. –Robert Wilonsky…

Sic ‘Em, Widetrack!

A few weeks ago Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Mark Bradley wondered, “What if McDavid owned Hawks, Thrashers?” And my “McDavid,” of course, he means local car salesman David McDavid, who, in 2003, was poised to buy the Atlanta Hawks and Thrashers, as well as Philips Arena, from Turner Broadcasting System –…

The Season of “Tony Uh-Oh”

If the concept of watching Tony Romo throwing five interceptions and losing two out of three fumbles in a single 2008 season-so-far lowlight reel does not amuse you, do not jump. But what if I told you every pick and dropped ball was accompanied by a fart sound followed by…

Three Dots and a Cloud of Dust …

I smell an upset. Or is it just really dark urine? If you’re not too hungover tomorrow morning, ESPN’s Texas-OU GameDay crew will set up shop outside the Cotton Bowl at 9 a.m. I think it’d be funny to see someone hold up a Pacman Jones cutout in the background,…

Pacman = Game Over? Continued Yet Again …

So what do you get when you mix Pacman Jones with Tommy Jones with Jerry Jones? A really bad sequel to 48 Hours. Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones just finished talking at Valley Ranch. In summary: *It’s an aberration, yet he’s very disappointed. *“None of our rules have been impacted.” *Pacman…

Seventh Heaven

Getting kinda used to this, aren’t we? Pacman’s in limbo. Newman’s hurt. T.O.’s moody. Wade Phillips is edgy. For a 4-1 team, it’s difficult to find the Dallas Cowboys’ positives: Ah-hah! There’s one: Couple three years ago I was on the couch watching a Cowboys’ game with my brother. He…

Pacman = Game Over? Continued …

After speaking with a Valley Ranch source minutes ago, a couple of Pacman Jones details need amending: The incident occurred at 11 p.m. instead of 1:30 a.m. Alcohol was involved, but not intoxication. A light fixture was damaged, as well as a mirror. Jones was on the scene when two…

Cookin’ with Ken Hamlin

That’d be a terrible name for a cooking show featuring the Dallas Cowboys safety, along with his friends DeMarcus Ware, Roy Williams, Anthony Henry. Maybe: The Safety’s Off. Or Breaking Up Passes and Meat. No, not that. But I do like jambalaya. –Robert Wilonsky…

Pacman = Game Over?

Out of quarters. And second chances. On the heels of recently being told by owner Jerry Jones to chill down his profile, Cowboys’ cornerback Pacman Jones got into a violent altercation with one of his own security guards at the new Joule Hotel at 1:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. That’s it…

The Mavericks’ Faith In Jason Kidd

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says a half-dozen players came to him at the end of last season, expressing a desire to play elsewhere if Avery Johnson remained the head coach. Let’s tiptoe out upon the limb and predict that Jason Kidd was included in the mutiny. Why? Because while…

SMU To Finally Retire “Dandy” Don Meredith’s No. 17

In real football news — pretty sure SMU qualifies — the Mustangs today announced that come October 18, Don Meredith would be accorded the same honor given the likes of Doak Walker, Eric Dickerson, Lamar Hunt, Raymond Berry and Forrest Gregg. During the SMU-Houston game, the university at which Dandy…

Texas-OU: Cue the Goose Bumps

If this doesn’t get you ready for Saturday then nothing can. In fact, Longhorn, Sooner or otherwise, you could probably hear that music at a Briss and bolt out the door ready to tackle somebody. For more Texas-OU inspiration I wrote a column in a fancy advertising section of this…

Yes, But Will They Be Paid in Ones?

Plenty of folks have wondered how the city will fill the Cotton Bowl to justify the $57-million makeover. Um, three words: Lingerie Football League. After all, we do have our very own franchise, says the official league Web site — the Dallas Desire! Dunno much about them, as the Seattle…

A Ranking You’ll Find Hard to Believe

Nein danke?! Dirk Nowitzki isn’t one of the 10 most popular NBA players in Europe. I know. What gives? Technically, I guess, it’s his uniform that isn’t so loved as Dirk’s No. 41 isn’t among the NBA’s just-released list of most popular jerseys across the pond. Kobe Bryant is No…

The Times, Trinity High and Tonga

Trinity Trojan Elikena Fieilo A Friend of Unfair Park sends along this New York Times tribute to the Trinity Trojans out of Euless, the top-ranked prep football team in the country (and the team with the slowest-loading Web site in the land, as well). Of course, what The Times finds…

Was It That Obvious?

The same. But different. Checked out the front page of SportsDay this morning – resplendent with its, hey, a clever photo of a half-empty/half-full glass! – and it got me to theorizing: a) Dallas’ Only Daily reads Sportatorium. b) Great minds think alike. c) Who am I kidding? Shit happens…

Which Cowboys Are You Watching?

Half-empty or half-full? Since NFL beauty is in the eye of the ticket holder, I was wondering where y’all fall on the Cowboys through five games. Happy? Satisfied? Concerned? Mad? Some seem generally pissy that Dallas had to squeak past the Bengals. Others are convinced the Super Bowl train remains…