Don’t Quit Your Day Jobs

No, Drew Bledsoe didn’t mangle an ACL in practice. But for a handful of rabid Dallas sports fans, the dream ended last night just an hour south of Dallas Cowboys training camp here in Oxnard, California. FC Roma, an amateur soccer team from our beloved city, was beaten 2-nil in…

Your Fantasy Is My Command

If you’re thinking of taking Julius Jones as a Top 10 pick in your fantasy football draft, why are you even bothering? Admit it, fellas, you want it. You crave it. You actually need it. Dude, you’re sick. Instead of a fantasy where you jump into a Jessica sandwich between…

Re: Dead Presidents

Just so you know, Lincoln Kennedy failed his physical today for the Cowboys. He weighed about 380 pounds, or 50 more than when he was an elite player. Also heard that he had some sort of internal thingamajig that will keep him from being football-ready for about a month. And…

Dead Presidents

Why is Lincoln Kennedy so danged happy? Maybe it’s because the former Raider’s getting a shot at being a Cowboy during training camp. Two words this morning: Lincoln Kennedy. Been a while since you heard that name, eh? Well, you’ll be hearing it again later today as the Dallas Cowboys…

Fat Fish Fallacy

In his last two stops, Terrell Owens has driven quarterbacks, coaches and fans crazy. After exactly two days of Dallas Cowboys training camp here in Oxnard, California, there’s evidence his presence is already pushing coach Bill Parcells to the brink of insanity. In a fascinating, frustrating 10-minute span on a…

Texas Fold ‘Em?

Straining camp: As goes Drew Bledsoe, so goes Dallas. Unless you think Tony Romo’s the QB of the future. Heh. Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells’ training camp T-shirt reads “Who’s All In?”, a poker reference to risking it all in a do-or-die hand. Terrell Owens is here in Oxnard, California,…

Rage Against the Machine

It’s only the first day of Dallas Cowboys training camp here in Oxnard, California, but at least one major player is already in mid-season form. Long-time WFAA-Channel 8 sports anchor Dale Hansen got Day 1 off to a rousing start, purposely directing football-specific questions to owner Jerry Jones and away…

Reversing His Field

Dallas Cowboys training camp hasn’t officially begun, and starting free safety Keith Davis is already drawing flags. But these aren’t yellow for leaping offside but red for lying. The skepticism you had at initially hearing Davis’ tale of being shot on Interstate 635 in the early morning of July 16…

Hello Cowboys, Goodbye Rangers

The Rangers couldn’t have picked a worse time for their worst flop of the year. Big series against the New York Yankees. Big attendance. Big media attention. Uh-oh. Climaxed by last night’s excruciating 8-7 loss to the Bronx Bombers, the Rangers were swept. And now, thanks to the Cowboys officially…

Newy’s Old Scoop

Don’t know how the local media missed this one–perhaps they were too busy blogging about Oxnard’s night life-—but Terrell Owens is guaranteeing a Super Bowl for your Dallas Cowboys. Not this year necessarily, but sometime in the next three years. He said so in a sit-down with KXAS-Channel 5’s Newy…

Going, Going…Gone?

Today did not dawn pretty for you traditionalists. That is, if there are any of you left. First, Fort Worth’s tradition-saturated Colonial golf tournament has sold out and partnered with something called the Crowne Plaza Hotels and Resort, rendering the grand ol’ golfing get-together as faceless and bland as any…

Eaton Up

Better late than never: Adam Eaton, acquired from San Diego in the offseason, finally pitches for Your Texas Rangers tonight against the Yanks. In between booing the New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez tonight at Ameriquest Field, take a gander at the pitcher on the mound for your Texas Rangers. It’ll…

Where There’s Smoke, There’s Usually Mark Cuban

Could the coach on the right wind up with the coach on the left–which is to say, left out? We shall see. In the month since our Dallas Mavericks broke our hearts with a dramatic come-from-ahead loss in the NBA Finals, owner Mark Cuban has been dissed by Dirk Nowitzki…

European Vacation

Tiger Woods is leading the British Open. He couldn’t have done it without Dallas’ Hank Haney, who got Tiger into the swing of things. Rock me. It’s not so bad to be an American overseas today–well, unless you’re trapped in Lebanon or something. But if you’re a Yankee Doodle Sports…

The Tuna Talks…or Not

When the Cowboys host their coaching clinic tomorrow, the Tuna will not be there. But the guy who coaches the arena team’ll be there. Same thing, innit? In what has become a really cool gesture by your Dallas Cowboys, the team will host its annual coaching clinic Friday at Texas…

The Young and the Peerless

No steroids? No ego? No national ad campaigns? No paparazzi pics wearing only eye black and a jock strap in the back seat with a Bachman Lake stripper? No obscenity-laced insults hurled at Mike Doocy? No 3 a.m. alcohol-related arrests after taking in Ted Nugent at Billy Bob’s? What? Texas…

Oh No, Even Mo’ T.O.

If you buy his book, Terrell Owens might shut the hell up and go the hell away. On second thought, doubt it. Like we’re not already sick of Terrell Owens, after his appearances at the ESPYs over the weekend and on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, he’ll be on HBO’s…

Power Trip

Frisco RoughRiders Don’t believe Richie when he says Mike Rhyner’s more powerful than Buck Showalter? Well, hell, just ask Rhyner. He’ll tell ya the same thing. It’s a list of the most powerful people in Dallas sports. Say it with me: Pow. Er. Ful. Not the most popular. Nor the…

Stars Search

One of the guys in this picture will no longer play for the Stars. One of the guys in this picture will debut in a Stars jersey this fall. We guess it matters. Let me check…yep, Dallas still has a hockey team. After their disappearing act early in the Stanley…

The Fab Fifty

After sitting on a runway for an hour in Atlanta and finally arriving at DFW Airport three hours late on a July 5 flight, Terrell Owens pulled down his plaid Gilligan hat and pulled out his cell phone when a beleaguered co-passenger timidly approached near the luggage carousel. “Hate to…

Mean Guys Finish First

He may be the starting AL pitcher tonight, but this is how we’ll always remember Kenny Rogers. Most of us–fine, I–watch baseball about three times a year: Opening Day (Oh, the excitement!), the World Series (Oh, I wonder where the Texas Rangers are) and the All-Star Game (Oh say can…

Livin’ Too Strong?

Earlier this year, Lance Armstrong and a local promotions company went to war over millions. The result: more doping allegations and a bunch of cash. Yesterday’s Los Angeles Times contained a 4,359-word story that can best be summed up this way: Some bicycle racers say Lance Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs…