Sports

Maybe one day The Dallas Morning News will do a story on Bill Parcells’ feelings about the Terrell Owens signing. Till then, we’ll just have to take Peter King’s word for it. By the way, that is good enough for me. –Robert Wilonsky…

The Dallas Stars may win the NHL’s Stanley Cup this spring. Regardless, it’s already been a positive season, mainly because after tonight’s clash against the San Jose Sharks at the American Airlines Center, the Stars’ ridiculously hideous alternate third sweater will be loaded on a truck and sent to Goodwill…

My Associated Press pal Christy and her husband, formerly of local Fox affiliate KDFW-Channel 4, are in town this week for the Texas Rangers opening series against the Boston Red Sox–not to see the Rangers, mind you, but their beloved Red Sox. Also in town is their pal Dan Shaughnessy,…

The best radio announcer in Dallas Cowboys history is staying, and the best offensive lineman in Cowboys history is going. Of course, if you rely on the area’s mainstream media these days, you’re clueless to both transactions involving Brad Sham and Larry Alllen. The Cowboys new flagship radio station–KTCK-AM (1310),…

You gotta love the Texas Rangers. No, seriously, you have to. They need your affection, because going on 35 years of misery and misfortune, someone up there in the most exclusive luxury suite has it in for them. Since 1972 we’ve been screaming for the Rangers to get some pitching…

Hell hath frozen over. The Red Sox and White Sox won a World Series. The Seahawks played in a Super Bowl. The Clippers will make the NBA Playoffs. George Friggin’ Mason is in the Final Four. And somewhere Wile E. Coyote just nabbed the Roadrunner. Yet there, left standing at…

The Terrell Owens gamble notwithstanding, the Dallas Cowboys quietly are taking small steps to make big improvements next season. First, Dallas cured its chronic kicking cancer by signing Mike Vanderjagt. Despite being labeled an “idiot kicker” by Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning for running his mouth, and being nicknamed “Vandershank”…

Put the Southwest Division race with the San Antonio Spurs on the back burner. Press pause on their pursuit of a franchise record 61 wins. And momentarily disregard Dirk Nowitzki’s push for the NBA’s Most Valuable Player nod. Tonight in Detroit, the Dallas Mavericks are after one thing and one…

Because there’s no way you saw this yesterday, Dallas Stars goalie Marty Turco hearts new Chicago Bears quarterback Brian Griese. In related news, when I was 10 I thought that 1979 M song “Pop Musik” was about Brian’s dad. Seriously, didn’t the chorus always sound like the guy was singing,…

The Cowboys signed Terrell Owens and Mike Vanderjagt last week. The Mavericks have flirted with having the NBA’s best record all season. The Rangers open their season a week from today. And the Stars…eh, didn’t hockey die? While you were busy not caring even a little bit, the NHL skipped…

SMU’s athletic administration will take tackle its future by relying on the Dallas Cowboys’ past–and not the recent past, but the waaaaay back past. The good past, that is. Steve Orsini will be announced this afternoon as the Mustangs’ new athletic director, replacing the retiring Jim Copeland. Orsini got his…

I’ve only seen her on TV, but I wouldn’t require a personal interview and authorized head-to-toe-measurements before I agreed to marry Elisha Cuthbert. I’m pretty confident we’d live, like, happily ever after. So why is it that NFL teams are so damned picky about college players like Vince Young? The…

I always thought Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders spent the off-season finishing their master’s degrees, smashing atoms or trying to solve the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture. Not so much. Turns out they cheer. –Robert Wilonsky…

Back in 2001 I shook hands with Big Tex, or at least it felt that way when I hopped in Larry Allen’s golf cart for an interview at Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls. On that particular day, Allen–one of the biggest, meanest, strongest, scariest players in NFL history–was…

If the answer to the above question is, “Sure, absolutely,” then I guess it’s time to direct you to a downloadable version of Terrell Owens’ much-talked-about rap song called either “I’m Back” or “I Suck.” It’s been on Owens’ Web site for a few days, but someone kindly converted it…

You wouldn’t hire Charles Barkley to be the Mavericks’ team psychologist. Put Robin Ventura in charge of the Rangers’ alumni association. Or name Lee Harvey Oswald Inc. as Dallas’ public relations firm. Um, then why in the world would you applaud the signing of Terrell Owens as a Dallas Cowboy?…

Mike Rhyner is still calling Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells “The New Jersey Con Man.” Rhyner’s on-air partner, Greg Williams, is bashing Parcells for missing last weekend’s earth-shattering press conference to instead attend baseball spring training. And there are at least enough dissenting Terrell Owens opinions to form a small…

I know the image of Terrell Owens celebrating in the middle of Texas Stadium in 2000 sickens most Dallas Cowboys fans. Well, hate to break it to you, but that star ain’t all that sacred. Want proof? We’ve all heard the suburban legends about kids sneaking into the stadium and…

Didn’t take long for Terrell Owens to start paying dividends. On Monday the Cowboys sold 1,500 Owens jerseys at $75 a pop. According to my abacus that’s around $112,000, which makes it a long way to go toward recouping the $10 million he’s guaranteed this season, but it’s a healthy…

During the Ring of Honor induction for the Triplets last fall, I asked Michael Irvin about Terrell Owens and the controversy of the moment—T.O.’s stream of negative comments about Eagles QB and multiple Pro Bowler Donovan McNabb. Irvin, of course, is buddies with T.O., who infamously agreed with Irvin’s comments…

So, where was he? Bill Parcells, so we’re told, is the only guy on the planet capable of handling Terrell Owens. The infallible Tuna is the main reason the Cowboys think their T.O. experiment will work when 31 other teams are convinced it won’t. But on Saturday, at Owens’ introductory…

Jerry Jones is in the Caribbean. Bill Parcells is in Florida. Terrell Owens is in limbo. And every Cowboys fan is in the dark. If you watched KLBK-Channel 13 in Lubbock this morning, you’re sure Owens signed a multi-year contract with the Cowboys late Thursday night and that a press…