The Dallas Cowboys: Seven Coaches and a Baby

In this week’s Dallas Observer column in which I surmise that Wade Phillips is entering his last season – win, lose or drawl – I tell the story of riding up a training camp elevator with the Dallas Cowboys’ head coach. Sounds riveting, I know. But wait, there’s more! Watching Wade interact…

The Continuing Saga of Jerry Jones’ Well-Hung TVs

I headed out to Arlington this morning for a detailed tour of Cowboys Stadium, the guts of which I’ll pour into a Dallas Observer cover story on Sept. 10. While I’m there, obviously, I’ll get some answers and insights into the video boards. I heard owner Jerry Jones on 105.3…

Rangers 10, Yankees 9. Frank(ie)ly, That Was Too Close For Comfort.

Random thoughts after a roller-coaster, thrilling, frustrating, sweat-stained best game of the Rangers’ season: *From 0-4 to 2-4 to 7-4 to 7-5 to 10-5 to 10-9, seriously, what a damn entertaining baseball game. *Elvis Andrus turns 21 today. His baseball IQ turns 219. *I watched the game at a bar, so…

Pudge Over Potential

I realize Pudge Rodriguez was brought here with the understanding he’d be a backup. But less than a week into his second coming, scuh-roo that! If starting Pudge throughout the three-game series against the Yankees that starts tonight in New York hurts Taylor Teagarden’s wittle feewings or momentarily thrwarts the…

Dallas’ Fantasy Roster

When I say No. 22, who comes to mind? Do you immediately think of the Dallas Cowboys’ all-time best runner? Or their all-time best rusher? Or perhaps instead the second-leading all-time scorer in the history of the Dallas Mavericks? The quest is to attach a Dallas/Fort Worth player to every…

“You Know, I Used to be a Cheerleader.”

Maybe you heard: George W. Bush stopped by Mustangs football practice this morning, where he told the team to “win one for Yom Kippur.” Thanks to the SMU media relations department for this end-of-the-day keeper. …

JumboJerry Being Raised As We Speak?

A friendly Sportatoriumite sends along this pic taken moments ago at Cowboys Stadium. Again, I’m no engineer but sure looks like – with the cranes and wenches and roof open – the JumboJerry is being raised. Right?…

The Race Is On!

​           This week’s column in the Dallas Observer wasn’t more dogpiling on Josh Hamilton, but rather some perspective on how unfairly most of us (yeah, I’m pointing at me) jumped on Josh Howard. They both screwed up. They both – eventually – apologized. They are…

Jerry Jones: Big, But Not Well-Hung

Everything’s bigger (and lower) in Texas. Toldja. Back in May – after reading that the colossal video boards at Cowboys Stadium were to be only 90 feet above the playing field – I penned an item questioning exactly how high was high enough. It was more common sense than aeronautical…

Cowboys Stadium: Um, Where’s the Star?

I’ll have a full review of this joint’s football debut Monday, but for now I’ve seen $35 parking at Wal-Mart (good googly moogly), new Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ uniforms (so long, white short shorts) and nary a blue star at midfield. Weird…

Dallas Cowboys’ Training Camp: Success Over Circus

No Terrell Owens. No Pacman Jones. No Michael Vick or Brett Favre or Michael Crabtree. No drama. To which I say … Yes! Last summer the Dallas Cowboys broke camp fat ‘n happy and consumed with personal agendas. After a successful training camp at San Antonio’s Alamodome in which the focus…

What’s Your Hicks Hiccup?

Unless you consider the Dallas Stars’ 1999 Stanley Cup a lifetime pardon, we’ve all got one. That is, that moment when Tom Hicks did/said something so outrageously inane that you WTF’d him onto your permament shit list. For me it was the Texas Rangers’ owner offering the bassackward philosophy of…

BREAKING NEWS: Pudge a Ranger, Again!

Wow. The greatest all-time Texas Ranger is coming home. Despite Kevin Richardson’s two-hit debut in last night’s win, the Texas Rangers are this close to trading for catcher Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez. The deal, according to a team source I just got off the phone with, would send two “mid-level” prospects…

Beer + Boobs + Balls = Beautiful

There are sports. There are athletes. And then, above below all else, there is Beer Pong. I’ll be on the golf course Saturday morning. But quick as I can get there I’ll then be at fabled Lee Harvey’s for their first annual Beer Pong Tournament. Singles. Doubles. And, yes, a Bikini…

The Closer

After Friday’s monumental, six-run implosion in a gut-wrenching loss to the Boston Red Sox, I heard lots of calls for Frankie Francisco’s job – if not his head. But give Texas Rangers’ manager Ron Washington credit. The guy is an unflappable optimist. At times to a fault, he trusts his players. “Frankie’s never…

Snap To It!

With nods to the special teams and Mike Mickens and Jason Williams, the most troubling aspect of last week’s Cowboys’ pre-season loss to the Raiders was the most elementary of plays: The snap. After a season in which Andre Gurode sent back off-speed eephus pitches to Tony Romo in the…