Pat Summerall returns to the broadcast booth Sunday after a two-year absence. Isn’t that right, John? First it was Keith Jackson who couldn’t walk away from football, now this. It’s been two years since Pat Summerall called a football game, but it seems much longer; already it feels like John…
We got $20 that says Drew Bledsoe plays some time before the end of the season. Or Sunday night’s game. Forgive me, Bible Girl, for I am about to sin: Sonofabiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!! The two defining press conferences at Valley Ranch this year have featured Kim Etheredge chomping her gum and Bill…
Like two shits passing in the night, Dallas Cowboys quarterbacks of sudden past and temporary present take turns getting humiliated. If nothing else, Monday’s 36-22 implosion against the New York Giants confirms three certainties: 1. The Cowboys’ quarterback of the future is not on their roster. 2. The Cowboys’ quarterback…
www.bobanddan.com If you see Dan McDowell, left, and Bob Sturm coming, run the other way. Drew Bledsoe didn’t; look what happened to him. Fonzie, yer next. According to popularity polls, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and totally illogical thinking, Tony Romo will today be officially named the Dallas Cowboys new starting…
Every member of the local sports media knows Rich Dalrymple. Kinda have to: He’s the public-relations director for Your Dallas Cowboys. Has been for 17 years. Some day, oh, ask Richie Whitt what he thinks of Rich. Or ask me. I know the guy. Had to deal with him back…
During Game 2 of the World Series, Fox showed The Gambler’s hand with and without the mysterious substance that has led many to think the guy’s a cheater and a jerk. Either Kenny Rogers has started wiping his ass with his left palm, or else he’s cheating. The same pitcher…
Tony Romo, otherwise known as the next Cowboys quarterback capable of throwing the worst-scenario interception Roger Staubach’s last pass was completed to guard Herb Scott. Danny White’s fateful play forced an infamous “No, Danny! No!” from coach Tom Landry. Troy Aikman’s final play ended in a huge hit by LaVar…
Come to think of it, we can’t recall ever seeing Bobby Carpenter in a Dallas Cowboys uniform… If the answer to the question posed above is yeah, you’d better thumb a ride to Denver, where FC Dallas begins the Major League Soccer playoffs Saturday night against the Colorado Rock…no, um,…
Mark Cuban says he wishes Don Nelson all the luck in the world. Yeah–luck, with a capital “f.” I’m supposed to be all jacked up about October baseball and all fixated on tonight’s Game 7 of the National League Championship Series between the Mets and Cards. But, nope, not even…
Didn’t even know Dean Karnazes was in town did you, fat ass? I’m talking to you, Mrs. Gawd-I’m-sitting-in-the-Starbucks-drive-thru-for-19-minutes-waiting-for-two-muffins-and-a-triple-latte-prayin’-I-make-it-home-for- The-View. And you, Mr. I’m-stopping-for-a-dozen-wings-and-a-pitcher-of-beer-but-I’ll-text-you-later-from-my-BlackBerry-before-nestling-into-the-butt-groove-of- my-couch-for-three-hours-of-pizza-‘n-Cowboys. Damn, people. Y’all are so busy having seconds and helping Dallas to fourth on this year’s Men’s Fitness list of America’s fattest cities you don’t even…
For some the defining question is, “Where were you when JFK was shot?”; for others it’s, “Where were you when Challenger exploded?”; for others it’s, “Where were you when you lost your virginity?”or even “Where were you when O.J. rode in that white Bronco?” (For the record, my answers are:…
There are some captains we love more than others–like, oh, Captain Kirk. Love him. And Brenden Morrow. Nice captain too. Your Dallas Stars are either setting us up for another punch to the gut come April or laying the foundation for the first 82-0 season in NHL history. In the…
You know two guys who deserve each other more than Bill Parcells and Terrell Owens? C’mon… C’mon… Can’t think of any, can you? Why is it that after yesterday’s Cowboys victory over the Hapless Texans I felt like taking a shower? I mean, 34-6 is sweet. But somehow it felt…
You know who people don’t like very much? You’ll never guess. Go ahead. Try. C’mon. Give up? Jerry Jones is more appealing than Terrell Owens. Hey, that’s not me talking. It’s the famed DBI or, for those of you not familiar with Dallas-based The Marketing Arm over on Bryan Street,…
Avery Johnson just got a nice contract extension. If only the Mavs can extend their season again. If only the refs call it right this time, eh, Mark? I know, there’s lingering pain and raw emotions and, gawdalmighty, you’re just not ready for basketball yet ‘cuz the hurt of the…
Avery Johnson went to Africa. Jason Terry to the Bahamas. Mark Cuban went into hiding. And, in the agonizing aftermath of the Dallas Mavericks’ collapse in last summer’s NBA Finals, Celia Barshop almost went crazy. “I was vilified,” says Barshop, “and I never even stepped foot on the court.” Don’t…
Whenever we see a picture of Chris Young in a Padres uniform, we cry just a little. Then we drink and cry some more. Then we drunk-dial Adam Eaton. Since firing Texas Rangers manager Buck Showalter a week ago, general manager Jon Daniels has been quiet about a replacement. Hitting…
Dean Karnazes is running, running, running into the record books. Us, we can barely bother to drive anywhere these days, much less run. Like Forrest Gump, one day Dean Karnazes (rhymes with oh-NASS-is) just started running. And so far, he hasn’t stopped. If you’re looking for a kook crazier than…
This may be the only time you see Terrell Owens getting behind Drew Bledsoe, because after the loss to Philly yesterday, Owens kinda threw his QB under the bus. Wish he’d taken a tire for the team, as well. Overlooked and underthrown, The Artist Formerly Known as T.O. officially deteriorated…
Trey Hillman, currently managing the Nippon-Ham Fighters in Japan, is a candidate for the Rangers’ gig. We were hoping for Foo Fighter Dave Grohl. My Lil’ Rangers birdies this morning are chirpin’ about Trey Hillman being a legit candidate to follow Buck Showalter as Texas Rangers manager. Not surprisingly, you…
www.marcusfootball.com With so many obvious sports options in front of ya this weekend, do the unexpected and check out upcoming high-school phenom Matt Faulkner instead? A sports weekend like this comes around only, oh, about once a decade. So many options, so little time. And TVs. If I were you,…
It was just two years ago that Buck Showalter was named AL Manager of the Year. Now, he’s the unemployed manager of the week. Tom Hicks’ Dallas Stars got their season off to a rousing start last night with a 3-2 overtime win in, of all places, Colorado. Which begs…
