Our Idiot Kicker

Sure enough, he’s a problem. The Dallas Cowboys awarded him that monstrous contract in the off-season for this? A mysterious injury that kept him sidelined most of preseason. The insufferable ego that has him resting on his résumé and shrugging off mistakes. A wobbly relationship with coach Bill Parcells. And,…

The Cockiest Cowboy

If you watched him shank two field goals in last week’s preseason tie, you couldn’t believe your eyes. And if you go to his Web site, you won’t believe your ears. Even before he scores his first point in Dallas, kicker Mike Vanderjagt is already the cockiest player in franchise…

Holiday Feast

Maybe some golf. Perhaps one last summer barbecue. Or, you could spend your Labor Day weekend scarfing down tamales–like, how about 100 of ’em? That’s what some carb-crazy contestants will attempt to do Saturday at 1 p.m. in Lewisville at the Dallas Tortilla and Tamale Factory World Tamale-Eating Championship. You’ve…

Ear Muffs, Tom Landry! Ear Muffs!

A return to glory: Jerry Jones has very, very special things in store for his Cowboys. I went to the Dallas Cowboys annual kick-off luncheon Thursday at the Hotel Intercontinental and treated my ears to a sound smorgasbord. There was rap music by Lil’ John, “Lights Out” by UFO and…

We’re No. 3! We’re No. 3!

Really, how can a team that employed Chan Gailey be worth more than a billion dollars? Does not seem right. Jerry Jones bought the Dallas Cowboys for $150 million in 1989; today, his team’s worth $1.2 billion, despite the fact Chan Gailey, Dave Campo and Barry Switzer have been head…

Anyone Need a Good Nelsoning?

Don Nelson can get ya 50 wins, no sweat. Then it’s off the bench and on to the beach, which is what happens when you got no defense. On Salon today, King Kaufman–a self-proclaimed “lapsed but still-sympathetic fan of the Golden State Warriors”–writes about former Dallas Mavericks head coach Don…

American Hero an American Idol?

Carly Patterson’s trying to make it as a singer on Fox. We can think of worse ideas, such as…uh…wait…uh…give us a sec. You’ve heard of the Sports Illustrated cover jinx, but the Richie Whitt Dallas Observer sports column jinx? I’m just sayin’. It almost got kick-started last night on the…

Whoa, Nellie?

Don Nelson’s getting back to basketball. Coulda sworn he quit forever when he left Dallas. Hunh. So now we know exactly how much Don Nelson disliked Mark Cuban. After quitting the Mavericks and saying he was just tired of the travel and ready to settle down with his wife on…

Rock and Role

With the signing of a first major title sponsor, the Dallas White Rock Marathon continues to run in the right direction. At a press conference this morning at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children, race officials and Mayor Laura Miller announced that Atlanta-based real estate company Wellstone Communities has signed…

Owens’ Sausage

This picture was taken yesterday, when Jerry Jones tried to take back Terrell Owens’ jersey. Sorry. That’s just wishful thinking. I watched as late as I could, but it was exhausting and I was exhausted: Some time around 1:30 this morning, Andre Agassi won his first-round match at the U.S…

The Good German

The Agence France-Presse, for which I worked briefly during my extended stay in Paris during the 1920s and ’30s, has a story this afternoon about how badly Dirk Nowitzki wants to stay a Dallas Maverick, to the point where he’d like to get his contract extended till 2011. Nowitzki’s in…

Matt “D’Oh” Doherty

By now, it’s pretty well known that SMU men’s basketball coach Matt Doherty has a blog; who doesn’t have one? (Speaking of, there’s at least one Dallas Morning News staffer taking the buyout who’s gonna start one; who’s doing it and what it’s about, well, we cannot and will not…

The Lowdown on “The Throwdown”

It’s not quite as big a deal as when Dale Hansen jumped ship, but there’s another on-air change at KTCK-AM (1310, The Ticket). RIP, “The Throwdown.” Kevin Scott, who earned his extremely modest fame and fortune doing sports update “tickers” on “The Hardline” afternoon show and teaming with Rich Phillips…

Take a Meander with Evander?

Too late, but could I interest you in shaking a pinky with Winky? Evander Holyfield packed up his fossil and left town last week. But appearing live and in living color Monday afternoon in Dallas will be undisputed junior middleweight champ Winky Wright. Wright, in conjunction with Big Brothers Big…

How the West Was Lost (Hint: It Rhymes With “Suck”)

Tom Hicks needs to fire Buck Showalter. Never gonna happen. Which is why the Rangers suck. OK, one reason. Being the Texas Rangers and all, they never really had a chance. But by losing three consecutive games to the gawdawful Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Arlington’s baseball team has officially given…

Fight Club

They kicked his ass out of New York, muttering about “deteriorated skills.” So we red-carpeted his assets to Dallas, longing for a good fight. Evander Holyfield’s second-round technical knockout of Jeremy Bates last Friday at American Airlines Center will someday lead to his unprecedented fifth heavyweight boxing championship. More important,…

Clairvoyant Cowboy?

The way it’s set up now, Brad Sham’s radio calls of Cowboys game are way ahead of the TV broadcast–which, ya know, kind of takes the surprise out of things for those playing along at home. As good–no, as great–as he is, Dallas Cowboys’ legendary play-by-play voice Brad Sham can’t…

Steeeerike Three!

Drew Henson was gonna be the quarterback of the Cowboys’ future. As of today, he’s a thing of the past. Not that you should be surprised–some of us proclaimed him a bust a year ago–but Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells just announced that quarterback Drew Henson is on the trading…

Romo Wins Job!

Tony Romo seems to think the starting QB position is still open. Uh, dude? Now, don’t go getting all flustered and drop your new Madden NFL 07. Though that damned media won’t seem to let it die, the only job Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is winning this pre-season is…

Dearly Departed

As the sun sets over the rolling waves of Ventura County, the Cowboys say adios before moving on to…San Antonio. Not the same. Not even close. No one’s particularly happy that the Dallas Cowboys have broken training camp in Oxnard, California, for the last time. Not the media, which drools…

Worth the Weight

Tonight you can watch Evander Holyfield fight Jeremy Bates. Or you can ask your father to start a bar fight with some random dude at a truck stop. Same difference. Ever applauded a grown man wearing only his undies? Me neither. Until yesterday, that is. Of course, I’d never been…

Lemon Into Lemonade

Jerry Jones Jr. is gonna get hitched in September. So who’s gonna wear the Rowdy costume during the honeymoon? Cross one of the metroplex’s most desirable bachelors off your list. Unless you’re Bedford-bred Lori Lemon, Jerry Jones Jr. is now officially unavailable. According to extremely reliable sources, the 36-year-old heir…