Something tells me the inventor of basketball planned neither on 100-0 winners nor 100-point-loser celebrities. I just threw up in my Raisin Bran. Now, where’d I … put … my … ah, there it is … soap box. America has gone softer than Bob Dole without his Viagra and it makes…
[jump] *No matter if he ultimately sucks or not, you’ll never forget where you were the day 1.4 million Americans converged on D.C. to watch Obama stroll up Pennsylvania Ave. I’m as jaded as they come, but that produced a chill down my spine and a tear in my eye…
Dear Mexican: Mi hermano y yo tenemos un dispute. We all know that Mexicans love their bistec sliced muy thin, but why? My brother is adamant that the diet of free-range vacas mexicanas results in tough meat, necessitating a thin slice for easy mastication. I think the reason is purely…
On January 9, Nelson wrote a signed column for the op-ed page in which she told how she personally had forced city officials to tear down a bad building in southern Dallas. She said it was part of a personal crusade. Nelson said she had heard from people in southern…
From the big seminar at the J. Erik Jonsson Central Library today: City council is hearing experts from Canada and Virginia tell them how to do civilized development. The big question, of course: Why would we want to be civilized?One irony: The Canadian guy told them Vancouver has no freeways…
I admit, I’m jaded. Cynical, more often than not. Some refer to it as grumpy. Been to my share of Super Bowls and Olympics and U.S. Opens and it takes something pret-ty special to get me authentically lathered up. But while watching yesterday’s Presidental Inauguration, I got a chill down my…
Fifteen people, count ’em, at Code Pink’s “No War Criminals in my Neighborhood!” protest so far on the bridge at Mockingbird Lane and N. Central Expressway. All very orderly except for the occasional SMU fraternity numbnut driving by in the Escalade and giving them the finger. Trish Major, communications director…
Last week Unfair Park told our dear Friends about an Oak Cliff gallery, Decorazon, soliciting international contributions to a show to be called “Farewell Shoes for Mr. Bush,” which is dedicated to our new neighbor (Hiya, W!) and some shoes. Unfair Park told readers that proprietors of the gallery had…
If you know me, you know the only the reason I’m happy to have George Dubya Bush back in Dallas is because it means he’s no longer in Washington, D.C. As I’ve said all along, he’s a good guy. Just a really bad President. But that’s ancient history, right? Today…
Whether you’re at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt’s End: *My summation of Thursday’s dramatic plane crash/rescue in New York’s Hudson River: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!! *Found it funny that, although the crash happened at 2:30, Larry King and…
This morning I read with sadness of the death of Trammell Crow, a man for whom I have always had great admiration. I would like to pass along this modest anecdote.In the early 1990s when I was between newspaper jobs, I worked for Trammell Crow on a personal project of…
Dear Mexican: What is it with César Chávez? Recently in Dallas, we’ve gone through three attempts to name streets after Mr. Chávez. In one instance, the plan was to remove the name of two brothers who were city founders from a street named after them and rename the street César…
Certain things you can do that might turn out very badly for you. Borrowing money from the Mafia, for example. Posing naked for a photographer who is a stranger. But who worries about driving down a toll road? I can tell you who should: You! Over the last several years…
Decorazon Gallery in Bishop Arts has issued an international invitation to artists to submit works for an exhibition in February to be called “Farewell Shoes for Mr. Bush.” According to the invitation, it’s “a shoe art exhibition open to artists of all mediums and from around the globe, who will…
Status: Green Weight: 156.9 (-14.2) Mood: Hungry Hunched Over Happy! Tonight, we dine! Well, sorta. I’ll probably have some soup. Maybe an ease-out-of-it cracker or two. Nothing too crazy. After all, it’s been 10 days since my last food: A jalapeno cheeseburger on white bread and a handful of red grapes at…
Status: Green Weight: 157.6 (-13.5) Mood: Bitter Better It’s not that I’m craving or lusting food. I’m really not. It’s just that, well, God I’m sick of lemons. Buying them and cutting them and squeezing them and smelling them and having their juice sting my cuticles and, yes, drinking them. I’m even…
Status: Green Weight: 157.6 (-13.5) Mood: Restless Remorseful Resolved First, the desire hatched an idea. Then the idea became a challenge. The challenge bred committment. The committment begat stubborness. Now, stubborness has morphed into habit. The Master Cleanser has become second nature, a way of life. My weight seems to…
Yesterday’s New York Times travel section served up its “44 Places to go in 2009,” and guess what! Dallas was No. 17. And guess what! Absolutely no mention of the late 20th century TV series Dallas. Instead, The Times based its recommendation entirely on the arts district, whose name it…
Status: Green Weight: 158.0 (-13.1) Mood: Pissed Pensive Peaceful Wanna hear something gross? Well, that is half the reason you’re here, right? Okay, The Master Cleanser’s diabolical discharge doesn’t only come from the bottom floor. For the first week I’ve been blow-blow-blow-blowing my nose. So much so that I finally…
Status: Green Weight: 158.8 (-12.3) Mood: Bitchy Belligerent Beloved When you’re on The Master Cleanser, it’s the little things. No, really, the little things. This morning I was sipping my breakfast, chuckling at today’s supposed “breaking news” that I gave you two weeks ago about Michael Crabtree, considering what it must…
Whether you’re at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt’s End: *First things first. If you plan to see this movie, or even think it looks remotely entertaining, please, leave these premises immediately. *Nothing official yet (UPDATE: Now it’s official), but I…
Status: Green Weight: 161.5 (-9.6) Mood: Crazy Caustic Content One of the benefits of losing weight is gaining time. When you stop eating – 5 days and counting – you realize exactly how much time we devote each day to food. The planning. The shopping. The commuting. The waiting. The…
