Audio By Carbonatix
By H. Drew Blackburn, Jaime-Paul Falcon, and Matt Wood
No matter what someone tells you, they generally tend to judge a book by its cover. This isn’t a good human trait, but we do it. Often we’re wrong about our first perceptions of people based on an extremely vainglorious surface level assumption. We also judge people by their taste: in food, in movies, in romantic partners, etc, etc, ad infinitum. What we’re most likely to judge someone off of is their taste in music. Relationships go to the grave over the fact that someone is really into dubstep.
We’re also very keen on assuming things about people because of what they have on their iPod. With that, we bring you a few stereotypes based on your favorite North Texas musical acts. Have fun being judged.
See also:
50 Signs You’ve Been Partying Too Long in Denton
A.Dd+
You love Dallas so much that you think Triple D is a good nickname for a city.
The Baptist Generals
You’re an artist of some sort that takes forever to complete something. Hey, you can’t rush art, right?
Ben Kweller
You’re married, have a stable job, have a second kid on the way, and you long to put the band back together. We should jam sometime dude, you know grab some microbrews and just jam.
Bludded Head
You know what they say: The 10th year of undergrad is when you really find yourself.
Blue, The Misfit
You think everything Kid Cudi touches is gold, even WZRD.
Blackstone Rangers
Year round, you use Christmas lights as the light source on your porch and in your backyard.
Booty Fade
You were twerking waaaaayyyyy before Miley Cyrus ruined it.
Buffalo Black
You’re a 9/11 truther and subscribe to an infowars.com newsletter.
Brave Combo
You’re a UNT professor and have a few opinions about fracking.
Centro-matic
You’ve probably been living in Denton too long, but at this point you just don’t give a shit.
Chambers
You’re really into pumpkin spice lattes, Lena Dunham and have a newly acquired interest in soccer.
Cutter
You go to art parties with “progressive” installations.
Dark Rooms
If someone calls you a hipster, you take major offense. Hipster.
Danny Diamond
You try pretty hard to sell yourself as a curmudgeon but everyone knows you’re a sap at heart.
Dustin Cavazos
You had your quinceañera last week.
Erykah Badu
You’ve gotten buck-ass naked in Dealey Plaza before and everyone saw your enormous #theysleepwegrind tattoo.
Fox & the Bird
You’re a manic pixie dream girl (or boy) filled with twee.
George Quartz
You have a liberal arts degree from SMU and pretend to like John Waters movies.
Goodnight Ned
You’re a proud owner of six fedoras.
Home by Hovercraft
You know this really awesome neighborhood. It’s called “Bishop Arts.”
Ishi
You’ve dabbled in molly once or twice. Okay, three times. All right, you lost count.
Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights
You tailgated at every one of your college’s football games. Even if they were trash.
Larry G(EE)
You take Buzzfeed quizzes about what decade you should’ve lived in and post the results — always the ’60s or ’70s — on Facebook.
Midlake
You spend at least $60 at Paschal’s twice a week.
Neon Indian
Your favorite local blog is Gorilla vs. Bear.
The O’s
You give every local beer 5 stars on the Untapped app.
The Outfit, TX
You frequently call inanimate objects “ho.”
Old 97’s
You’re old. Not quite 97, but old.
Parquet Courts
You used to live in Denton, but after moving you deny it, and you’ll keep denying it until you die.
The Phuss
You just had the best weekend of your life, although you can’t quite remember it.
Power Trip
Your friend knows a great weed guy.
Wiccans
You know a great weed guy.
Drug Mountain
You have a hydroponic grow room in your closet.
Pinkish Black
You’re too high too tell that the alphabetical order of this list was just broken.
The Polyphonic Spree
You have one too many robes in your wardrobe (trust us, one is probably too many).
Quaker City Night Hawks
You own multiple cut-off plaid shirts and band tees.
The Rich Girls
You absolutely love karaoke. It makes-ah your dreams come true.
RTB2
Yes, you hang out at Dan’s Silverleaf.
Sam Lao
YASSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Sarah Jaffe
You once tried to explain how appearing on an Eminem hook is a strong feminist statement.
Sealion
You have an interest in surfing. Have never lived on a coast.
Seryn
Has anyone told you about your lord and savior lately?
Somebody’s Darling
You order extra mayo on everything, including chicken salad.
St. Vincent
You work at a hip coffee shop and are saving up to move to Brooklyn.
Sudie
You tell people about how you loved [fill in popular artist’s name here] when they only had a few songs out. You don’t realize that you’re the only person that cares.
The Toadies
You have a tribal tattoo.
-topic
You’re into green tea and Cartoon Network.
Tunk
We know what you did last decade. We know about that tall tee phase.
War Party
You played a brass instrument in the high school band.
Zhora
You know every word to the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe.”
